How Do I Say I Love You?
by shortcurlytop99
Summary: set after lies: Will she pluck up the courage? Will she even know what to say? Her words always seem to be drowned out by the rapid beating of her heart. How hard could it be to say I love you?
1. Chapter 1

Dekka rubbed her sweaty palms against the legs of her pants. She needed to do this; she would explode if she didn't.

The McClub was basically non-existent since the lights of Perdido beach had been turned off. Kids milled about looking lost. In the middle of the crowd was Brianna, The Breeze. Dekka felt her heart start to beat double time. _Okay, just do it_. Dekka instructed herself, striding over to Brianna. Once close enough for Brianna to see her, Dekka froze in fear, her mind going into internal debate mode.

_This is unfair to Brianna; she'll never love you that way,_ pessimistic Dekka argued.

_Life's unfair; tough cookies. _No-nonsense, totally head over heels in love with Brianna Dekka argued.

_You're being selfish; this will make things awkward and weird between the two of you._

_I've been selfless for too long, can't I be a little self absorbed now and then? Besides, things are already weird and awkward. How is this any different?_

_What happens if she rejects you?_

_What happens if she doesn't?_

Dekka could quite literally argue both sides till kingdom comes. But Brianna was waving her over. Dekka took a deep breath; here goes nothing (except her dignity).

Dekka opened her mouth to speak but Brianna beat her to it.

"This is so _lame,_ why isn't anybody _doing_ anything." Brianna whined and gave a comical pout. Dekka suppressed a smile.

"What is there to do? Power's out, which means no club. By the way, this isn't exactly revelation. The lights have been out for ages. Why the complaining?"

Brianna smirked,

"Jack is sick as a dog. Therefore, boring as hell."

"Aren't you supposed to be taking care of him?" Dekka questioned and then mentally kicked herself. It sounded like she wanted Brianna to go away.

"Aren't you _supposed_ to be sick?" Brianna returned slyly.

Dekka _was_ sick, and getting worse every day (another reason for her sudden inclination to declare her love for Brianna. What would happen if she died? Brianna would never know, who would tell her? Well, probably Howard.)

"Okay, not the point. Look, Breeze, I need to talk to you."

Brianna smiled cheekily,

"About what? Oh my God, do you have a crush?" she said it loud enough for the kids around them to turn around.

"Shhh, can I talk to you _privately_?" Dekka shot the staring kids her best death glare and they quickly averted their gazes.

"Sure,"

Once under the cover of the makeshift graveyard, Brianna chirped,

"So, who is it? No, no, no." She contradicts herself before Dekka could reply, "let me guess."

Brianna tapped her finger against her lip in mock consideration. Dekka remained silent.

"Edilio? No, too short," Dekka opened her mouth to interrupt but Brianna continued her guessing game, oblivious.

"Quinn? No, too blond. Sam? I wouldn't if I were you, girl, Astrid will kill you. Orc?" at that Brianna shuddered, "Hell to the no, just don't. God, is it just me, or are we having a short supply of male specimen in this place?"

At Dekka's expression of exasperation Brianna switched tactics.

"Right, you play for the other team, don't you?"

Well, at least she was getting warmer.

"Is it Diana? I mean, you know, she's pretty hot."

Dekka just glared, not even dignifying the question with any sort of answer.

"Okay, guess not. Smoking hot or not, she's a bitch. And, trust me, girl like you deserves _so_ much better."

Dekka felt herself flush with pleasure at Brianna's words.

"Right, that leaves Astrid; And unless you have the sudden urge to become Dekka bacon, I wouldn't try it. Lana? Oh, no, too plain in my humble opinion,"

Dekka snorted; Brianna's opinion was anything but humble.

"All that's left is Taylor; who has her eyes on Sam. Sorry bucko, I'm all out of guesses."

Now that Brianna had drew breath, Dekka was able to speak.

"You,"

"Oh yeah, I guess I'd be a candidate, wouldn't I? Well, who is it?"

"You,"

Brianna stared at her, lips parted in surprise.

"Uh, Dekka? I think you misunderstood me. I mean, who's your _crush_?"

Oh dear. Dekka felt her hopes sink but plowed on anyway, in spite of the train wreck she could see happening in the very near future.

"I love _you_, Brianna."

Dekka said those three little words that had tormented her for so many nights. Despite the look on Brianna's face, Dekka felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

Brianna's hand covered her mouth, her eyes showing too much white. Her whole expression was one of undisguised horror.

"You're telling me this…in a freaking graveyard?"

Dekka was torn between laughing out loud and crying with relief.

"Yeah, I guess. I wasn't really mapping out the exact location or anything…" Dekka trailed off, noticing Brianna's thunderous expression.

"What kind of messed up symbolism is _that?_"

"Brianna, I really don't think the _where_ is that important."

"Oh, says _you_. I swear, not a romantic bone in your body." Brianna scoffed.

"So, you're not mad?" Dekka asked, hopeful.

"I'm not mad. I'm in a state of shock, and this is me dealing with the trauma of another chick proclaiming passionate love for me."

Dekka's tone was dubious,

"By criticizing my wooing abilities?"

"Yes."

Well, at least she wasn't trying to burn her at the stake…yet.

"Now back to my criticizing your romantic advances. You're timing? Awful. Overall romantic atmosphere?"

Brianna glanced around. Dekka had to admit: not her best. A kid not ten feet away stumbled and puked over a nearby grave.

"Despicable."

Dekka winced as Brianna went on, _and_ on, and on. She wished Brianna would come out of her state of apparent shock and quit demoralizing her. Once Brianna got onto the subject of Dekka's clothing, she snapped.

"Brianna. Shut up."

"What? I'm only telling you the truth: your wardrobe is one similar to an ex-biker homeless _man_."

"Urgh. Are you done yet?"

"Your shoes suck,"

"_Brianna_."

"And you're hair needs to be combed, like, stat."

"BRIANNA," Dekka snarled, outraged.

"I'm done."

"Thank God for small miracles."

Brianna looked smug, practically begging Dekka to prove her wrong.

"In conclusion, Dekka; you're about as romantically appealing as dried up puke."

"Thanks," Dekka commented drily, trying to cover up her hurt.

"I'm sorry; did I bruise your ego?"

Actually, the girl not only bruised it but kicked it while it was down. Ran it over with a Mac truck, put the damn truck in reverse and to top it all off, she spat on her defeated ego's grave.

"So that's your opinion of me?" Dekka questioned stiffly, keeping her head held high.

"Only romantically," Brianna answered candidly, using her hands to brush back her reddish colored hair.

"Hmm," Dekka mused, half to herself.

"Sad, isn't it?" Brianna sang, eyes sparkling with a tinge of malice.

Dekka finally clued in to what Brianna was doing. She was being as mean as possible to deflect Dekka's feelings, to push her away. Why? The likelihood of Brianna granting her mercy because she herself lacked interest was slim to none. So what was she hiding?

"Well, if we're done with the supremely awkward if not horrifying téte-à-téte, I'm going home to check if Jack is still breathing." Brianna turned away and started to walk out of the graveyard.

"Brianna," with what Dekka assumed was great reluctance, Brianna turned back around to face Dekka.

"What?" aggravation colored Brianna's tone.

Not thinking but merely leaping into action, Dekka leaned forward, closing the distance between them, and planted a firm kiss on Brianna's lips. Dekka pressed her mouth greedily against Brianna's, relishing the feeling for having her dream come true. The kiss was quick but it still sent Dekka's heart racing. She was able to briefly hold Brianna's face before she broke away. After a moment Brianna said, rather breathlessly,

"Wow, you have balls."

"You wish,"

Brianna let loose a bark of raucous laughter that made Dekka's heart swell. After the laughter died down Brianna was, for the first time since Dekka met her, at a loss for words. She stared at Dekka like she didn't know who she was looking at. Feeling a vague sense of triumph, Dekka strolled past Brianna not before bending her head so her lips were at her ear,

"How's _that_ for romantic?"Before heading out of the plaza and back to her house; she was smiling the whole way.


	2. Chapter 2

Lana had seated herself on the curb, she was so busy feeling miserable and feeling sorry for herself she almost missed Dekka walking into her. Lana gritted her teeth as Dekka's boot stomped on her fingers: damn, couldn't the girl wear sneakers?

"_Ouch_," Lana complained, shaking her hand as if trying to throw off the pain.

"Sorry," Dekka didn't look sorry; she actually looked like she had just won the lottery. She smiled down at Lana.

"Hey Lana,"

"Hi," even her greeting was depressing.

"Is someone having a pity party?" Dekka sang, plopping herself next to Lana.

"How'd you guess?"

"Your blank stare of total dejection and moody aura of pessimism kind of tipped me off."

Lana put her head in her hands. She heard Dekka sigh and, gingerly, placed a hand on the other girl's shoulder.

"Okay, I've watched your internal suffering for long enough: what's up?"

Dekka wasn't really Lana's favorite choice for girl to girl bonding but she wasn't exactly being offered a lot of options.

"What would you do, if you loved someone, but you never even let them know you were interested?"

"Ah," Dekka's expression became understanding, "someone is heart sick. Let me guess: Quinn?"

"What? Oh, God, no,"

"Oh boy, you're not about to tell me you're crushing on _Sam?_ Girl, don't even approach that territory. Astrid…"

"Will kick my ass? Yeah, I get that. And _no_; why does everyone think Sam is the only legible bachelor around here?"

"Who is it then?"

"Edilio," his name burned her tongue and Lana relished the hum it gave in her mouth. Dekka tried to retain a neutral air but the effect was ruined by her eyebrows shooting up in surprise,

"Oh, geez… _Edilio?_"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I just never saw you guys together, you know, as a couple."

"Great," Lana grumbled sarcastically, not very much liking the image.

"Look, Lana, best way to handle it? Just tell him."

Lana snorted,

"Yeah, okay. I'll do it if you do."

Dekka's smugness radiated off of her,

"Already did."

Lana stared at the other girl in shock.

"No way; who, when, and where?"

"Brianna: like, ten minutes ago. And it was in the graveyard."

"Whoa." Lana schooled her features into a mask of tolerance. The mental image of Dekka proclaiming her love to a twelve year old girl didn't seem very romantic or, if she was truly being honest, natural. But the last thing she wanted was Dekka assuming Lana was some sort of stuck up homophobe.

"Yeah, and it scared the shit out of me. And, believe me; it'll scare the shit out of you when you talk to Edilio. But, Lana, the point is that you _need to tell him_. "

Lana bit her lip and tried to dislodge the mean little voice that was crooning in her ear: _Edilio? You have to be kidding. He'll reject you for sure. Besides, who wants someone like you? You're a traitor, a puppet of the Darkness. Edilio wouldn't want you near him. He's a nice guy but nobody's that nice._

"What did Brianna say; when you told her?" Lana managed to choke out, squeezing her hands together in an effort to distract herself from the cruel whispers inside her head. Dekka grinned.

"I believe the phrase was: 'You have balls.'"

"Promising,"

"My sentiments exactly."

Completely out of the blue, Dekka suddenly leapt to her feet, dark eyes narrowed and locked on a point somewhere in front of them. Puzzled, Lana followed her line of sight and suppressed a groan.

"Hello ladies."

"Get lost, Howard." Dekka snarled curtly.

Howard frowned and furrowed his eyebrows together. He took a step forward and Lana couldn't help but cringe a little: not out of fear, no, Howard didn't instill quaking fear into every kid like Cain and, God forbid, Drake did. His talent for annoying every nerve of the human anatomy was quite uncanny however. "What are ya talking about, Dekka?"

Dekka rolled her shoulders back, perhaps preparing to punch Howard's lights out,

"What part of 'get lost, Howard' don't you understand?"

Howard ignored this and continued with his original question,

"Are you guys talking about girl stuff?"

"Yes, Howard; that's exactly what we're talking about. You little genius, you've figured it out. Now beat it."

When Howard didn't move Dekka growled,

"Since words seemed to be a loss on you, how would you like it if I tried my fist? Can you understand _that_?"

Lana didn't doubt Dekka's abilities on fulfilling her threat, and neither did Howard since he bolted out of their sight as soon as he read the promise in Dekka's eyes.

"Like a rat out of an aqueduct." Lana mumbled, one of her mom's favorite expressions.

"The similarity is striking."

When Lana remained on her perch, Dekka grabbed her hands and hauled her to her feet.

"Come on, Lana; be woman. Go up to Edilio and tell him how you feel. You'll regret it if you don't."

Dekka gave Lana a firm shove in the direction of the church,

"Go."

"What happens if he says, 'oh, this is awkward, I just thought we were friends.' It's going to be humiliating."

Dekka shrugged, her eyes darkening with sadness,

"And what if he does, Lana? At least you know you tried."

"But…"

"No buts," Dekka declared, "we live in the FAYZ, Lana; any day could be our last. And I don't know about you but I don't want to be lying there on the ground dying and know that I never had the courage to _say_ those stupid three words. Yeah; you could argue till your blue that he could say no and it would all be a waste of time. But I'll be damned if I waste my chance at happiness simply because I was afraid. What kind of life would we have if we lived it like that?"

At Lana's wide-eyed stare, Dekka shook her head and let her mouth curl into a self-satisfied smirk.

"Then again, what do I know?"

_More than I do,_ Lana thought to herself.

"Well, good luck." Dekka gave Lana a light punch on the arm and sauntered off. Before she was out of earshot, however, she threw over her shoulder, "And if you really want to throw caution into the wind, a kiss might not be a bad way to say 'I love you'."


	3. Chapter 3

The church was, at first glance, deserted. Lana wandered the aisles awkwardly; she wasn't that religious to begin with. In fact, her spiritual connection pretty much didn't divert from the occasional plea to God for passing her math test. Since the FAYZ, she wasn't exactly willing to embrace Jesus or whatever. Lana was firm believer in what most of the kids believed; there was no God in the FAYZ.

Once positive that Edilio wasn't on the first floor, Lana headed for the church basement. She stood at the doorway, hidden by the shadows. Most of the council was there; Sam, Astrid, John, Howard and even Orc and Little Pete. It was odd because all of them seemed to be ganging up on Edilio, who stood on the other side of the room, closer to Lana. Although he was leaning against the wall, he looked tense.

"Your Sheriff, enforce the rules." Astrid was saying with her blue eyes narrowed. Sam was standing next to her, holding her hand, but looking as if it was out of obligation rather than agreement. Lana pursed her lips together; what on earth?

The rest of them (the exception of Little Pete) looked between both Edilio and Astrid, as though expecting a show down. Sam, poor guy, looked torn between his buddy and his girlfriend. However, he kept quiet as he listened to Edilio's indignant response.

"What do you want? I _do _enforce the rules; but I'm not going to resort to violence to do so."

"Sometimes kids need a little violence to follow rules." Howard commented. Edilio's eyes widened and he took a step towards Howard,

"So I should start beating on kids who don't do what I say? I may be Sheriff, but I'm not Drake."

Astrid's expression softened,

"Of course not; I didn't mean it like that,"

"That's what it sounded like."

Astrid sighed and ran her fingers through her blond hair. Lana had to admit; the girl looked run down; almost as bad as Sam. In fact; the whole council looked like they had been put through the seventh circle of hell. Which, Lana guessed, they already had.

Even Edilio looked like he was sick of the whole fight.

"Man, we can't have kids burning buildings down or killing each other."

"You literally just described the human crew in one sentence." Lana said stepping out of her hiding place. Everyone jumped except little Pete.

"Hey guys," Lana greeted.

"Were you there the whole time?" Astrid questioned, still looking a bit shaken from Lana's sudden entrance.

"Yep,"

When Astrid got that huffy look on her face Howard snorted and said,

"Come on Astrid, if you wanted this meeting to be top secret, don't do it in a church basement with the door open."

Lana suppressed a chuckle. Even Edilio looked like he was biting back a laugh.

"So why are you here?" Howard asked, turning to Lana.

Okay; Lana wasn't going to confess to the whole council that she had come to tell Edilio she loved him.

"Err, no reason." She replied lamely.

Howard and Astrid eyed her suspiciously, but let the issue drop. One good thing about being a healer; people let a lot of things slide; you never know when you'll need someone to heal you.

"We were just leaving." Sam said, already herding the crowd upstairs. Lana nodded and followed them, and was displeased to note that Edilio was in the front with Sam while she was in the back with Howard and Orc.

The council and Lana spilled onto the lawn of the church, groups of twos and threes splitting off to converse in whispers. Lana took a deep breath. How on earth was she going to do this?

_Go up to him and tell him._

Yeah, and then she'll just curl up and die of embarrassment.

_Now or never. We could all die tomorrow and he'll never know._

But what happens if we don't die tomorrow, Lana reasoned.

_He has to know or you're going to regret it._

Ugh! Stupid conscience.

Resolute in her decision, Lana stood where she was until she decided the best way to go about things. Lana wasn't actually that good at thinking things over before doing them, so this concept was quite foreign to her. After of few moments of silent deliberation, she mentally cursed herself,

_Ah, to hell with it._

Lana walked quickly over to where Edilio was. He was with Sam and Astrid, gesturing quite animatedly, obviously trying to break through their twin stances of stony silence. Lana pushed that out of her mind; Sam and Astrid weren't important right now.

Upon seeing her, Edilio's face lit up.

"Hey Lana, what's up…?"

He was cut off by Lana throwing herself on him, nearly knocking him to the ground; she pressed her mouth against his, stunned by her brazenness. They were teetering and Lana felt dizzy. Edilio, somewhat getting over the shock, placed a hand on the small of her back and against her left thigh to support them. His touch seemed, to Lana, better than any healing touch could ever bring. There seemed to be a collective sound of distracting coughing amid some of the gasps. Lana realized, somewhat belatedly, that it wasn't just the council outside but also most of the town. Lana pulled away and as demurely as she could manage under the circumstances. She let go of Edilio and moved away a few feet. Edilio caught her hands, and brought her back. He didn't kiss her, but merely held her close, his breathing a little uneven.

"Well, I guess we'll give you two some space." Astrid said warmly. Pushing Sam and herding everyone else away, Astrid disappeared into the darkness that seemed to permanently envelope the town these days. Some kids, like Howard, stuck around, probably hoping for another piece of Edilio-Lana action but Lana didn't care. She was too happy to care.

Lana looked up at Edilio; his dark eyes were warm and sparkling.

"So…just wanted to say…I love you."

Edilio laughed lightly,

"Yeah, I got that part."

Lana grinned, feeling slightly light headed. Edilio leaned down and gave her peck on the lips,

"I love you too."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Lana was officially the happiest person in the FAYZ. She intertwined her fingers with his,

"Does this mean that we're together, like, officially?"

Edilio smiled,

"Sure."

The two of them embraced. Kids around them rolled their eyes, looked away in embarrassment or yelled, 'get a room'. Lana didn't notice them. But who she also didn't notice was Quinn. Only about twenty feet away, he stared at the happy couple, twirling the small Swiss army knife in his fingers. The knife was used to cut up the fish he caught. When it slipped and cut into his palm, Quinn barely noticed. He was focused on Lana.

He should have known; it was pretty obvious. Well; except to Edilio. Quinn wanted to blame him; he really wanted to. He never wanted to cuss, or kick or possibly run over someone as much before in his life. But he could he blame him? It was clear as day that Lana instigated the whole thing; Edilio would be a fool not to love her back. Quinn picked up the knife again, softly tracing patterns into the soft skin of his palm. Lana didn't want him; this was something he was going to have to accept. If Edilio made Lana happy, that's all Quinn could ask for.

Quinn turned away and headed back to Marina, leaving the caressing couple behind him. Yeah; Edilio may make Lana the happiest girl that ever was but it didn't mean that Quinn had to watch.


End file.
